"Girl Scout Cookies" — a one-act play

SCENE 1
Scene opens in the kitchen. M is packing his lunch for work.

Over the previous weekend, M's parents gave him a box of Peanut Butter Sandwich Girl Scout cookies.  Several days later, M decides he would like some Girl Scout cookies with his lunch. M gets the unopened box out of the pantry. His wife, A, walks into the kitchen.

A: GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!!!!

M: I was going to take them to work...

A: WHAT? No. Fine, if you take them to work, I will get my own cookies and then I will take them to work and then you can't have any!

Side note, A works at home and therefore "taking cookies to work" requires hiding them in random places so M doesn't find them.

M: Where are you going to get Girl Scout cookies?

A: Like they're hard to find? ... I WILL GO TO WAL-MART, AND I WILL BUY COOKIES FROM THE GIRL SCOUTS SITTING OUT FRONT, AND THEN I WILL DRIVE AWAY WITHOUT GOING INTO WAL-MART.

A really doesn't like Wal-Mart. She heads back into her home office.

M finishes packing and leaves for work. Unbeknownst to A, he leaves the box of cookies in the pantry. A is too busy plotting cookie revenge to notice.

SCENE 2
A goes to her dance class; her classmate's daughter is selling cookies. This is almost too easy. A buys Thin Mints, which are the best kind of cookie. She gets the cookies home and "takes the cookies to work." They are well-hidden, and A is not revealing where because M sometimes reads A's blog.

Cookie protection program.

SCENE 3
Back in the kitchen. M gets home from work.

A: I got Girl Scout cookies and I took them to work and YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!

M: ... but I left the cookies at home?

A: ... I did not know that.

M: Does this mean I can have some of your cookies?

A: No. I hid them. And I was good and didn't open them yet so if you eat any I WILL KNOWWWW.

Somehow M still likes being married to A, even though she is weird.

THE END.

—————

And here's another story, because it is somewhat relevant to this one. I have always been kind of a loud person, which was great when I did theater in middle school, but otherwise is not often appreciated. When I was a kid, I liked to write short stories, and my mom kept several of them. Instead of writing "[character name] said," every one of my stories involved "[character] shouted," or "[character] yelled."

I guess you write what you know.