Last Friday, Matt was supposed to do his preliminary exam and get the approval to do his dissertation research. Instead, a bomb threat caused Texas A&M to evacuate its main campus, so his exam was postponed and no new date was set. On Monday, he contacted all the people who needed to be present for this exam, and got it rescheduled for Wednesday. He felt kind of beaten down afterwards, and I could tell in the days leading up to it too, since he was still practicing his presentation for days after it should have been finished.
But the good news is, he passed.
In the meantime, I've been working longer days to learn the ropes with a new client, as well as trying to get caught up on existing projects (business is growing, YAY!). Plus, I'm starting to get overwhelmed with my (volunteer) workload at church. Not work's fault at all, but I've been spiraling a little out of control.
I'm generally a pretty happy, confident person, so it's unusual when I start feeling insecure and crying for no reason. I'm having a hard time actually feeling excited about anything right now. I'm bored and uninspired, and too exhausted to want to do anything to remedy either of those. I've been spending all my spare minutes looking on travel websites for cheap flights or places to drive because I feel like I just need to get OUT for a few days. (Whether or not that will actually happen remains to be seen.) Maybe alone, maybe drag my husband along.
It's funny that I feel such a need to be alone, because I really need to be socializing much more than I have been lately — that's one of those things I need in order to be happy. I've been going to a lot of networking events in the past few weeks, and while I'm constantly talking to people, it's not the same as spending time with friends. I spend entirely too much time in my house, talking to the cat. My emotional bank is drained.
But I'm still here, regardless of whether I post or not. I hope to find something interesting to write about soon.
Where do you go, or what do you do, to find inspiration? Did you have a good week?
Girl, I'm with you. Life can be so hard sometimes and it's so easy to get beaten down by it! I've been feeling that same need-to-get-away feeling (either alone or with the hubby) because I can't stand to be here feeling this way for much longer.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am feeling overwhelmed by life, my tendency is to lock myself away and just be ALONE, all the time. Which is bad, because then depression sort of rears its ugly head and makes everything worse. So I've started making lists of all the things I'm grateful for in my life, so I can be overwhelmed by all the good stuff and not the bad. Reminding myself how good I DO have it and then thanking God specifically for those things puts things back into perspective for me.
Here's a post I wrote recently about it. Sometimes even the tiniest things to be thankful for help!
That's a good idea, Brittany. Matt and I always like to pray before we fall asleep and it's been tough to find joy in the little things — like, being thankful for having a home, and food to eat, and a solid community — but he's always able to think of things when I can't, and vice versa. I'm going to try to make a list this weekend.
DeleteI can so empathize. This week has been awful and stressful for many reasons. I hope you feel better soon. And congrats to your husband on passing his presentation!
ReplyDeleteToday my husband and I are going out for brunch to cheer ourselves us. When I am feeling down I find having little things to look forward to (like brunch) help me get through it. And, if that fails, I just keep telling myself "this too shall pass." Hang in there!
Thanks hon! It's true that little things make it much more bearable. We're planning to go to a haunted house this weekend to get out for a little while, that was our little thing this week. I hope you have a good weekend and enjoy brunch!
DeleteI had an awful week too! I'm so sorry to hear yours was rough - no advice, just sympathy!
ReplyDeleteHope this week goes much better for you!
DeleteSorry you had such a bad week, I hope this one is better!
ReplyDelete