Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Stillness, Intentions

On Easter Sunday, we went to the 7 a.m. sunrise service, which took place outdoors in front of the church. We didn't actually see the sun rise; the sky went from dark gray to lighter gray, the fog and mist obscuring any of the sun's rays.

Midway through the service, there was a moment where we were asked to be silent and just listen to the morning. And I realized that it was the first time in a long time — maybe even ever — that my mind remained completely still, allowing the cool breeze to wash over me as the birds and crickets competed for the right to sing.

And I thought that maybe I need to get up this early more often, watch the sunrise and just breathe. One of the things on my Life List is that I'd like to learn how to meditate, to keep my mind still for a little while every day. I have a friend that is always going on meditation retreats, and we've talked about what it means for a Christian to meditate, something that is traditionally seen as an Eastern religious practice. He says that he sees the act of meditating almost as another means of prayer or communication with God; a time of listening.

I'd really like it if I were better at the listening than the asking.

But I'm almost afraid to start, because I worry that one morning, the warm covers and soft bed will be too hard to leave, and I'll never find the motivation to start again. I'm afraid to start because I know that eventually I'll forget, or put it off until tomorrow, until it becomes just another thing that I've tried and failed to keep up.

Most of the time I have good intentions, big ideas, but too little follow-through. I wish I were better at following through.

What are you afraid to start?

(Linking up with Mr. Thomas and Me and The Florkens.)

12 comments

  1. Don't worry - I feel the exact same way sometimes. I always have these big plans to get up every morning and work out and then spend some time with God in prayer and fellowship, and often my bed is just too inviting to resist! But even though I fail ALL THE TIME, I just keep trying. Good luck with your mediation adventure!

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  2. But even if you forget or put it off, it means you're trying! It's means you still have the intent to try! I think that's half the battle. Habits take awhile to form.

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  3. It was easier for me before I had children, because I had more quiet time to myself. Now, I try to do it in the shower, or when I'm outside watering my plants. That's a really special time and I like to do it after my boys are in school or otherwise occupied inside. I think, like everyone else has said, you do the best you can and just keep going.

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  4. I don't know about or practice a lot of meditation, but I LOVE doing yoga first thing in the morning or early at night. The gentle stretching and the pace of the breath gives me something to focus on and lets me clear away the stresses of the day (or get the day started off right!) I started because of the issues with my foot, and I still love it, but I don't do it every day. You get it in when you can!

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    1. Good point, doesn't have to be every day in order to be successful. Need to remember that!

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  5. I feel the exact way sometimes! It helps me to remember that I am the one who defines my success. Sometimes success is just following through, even if it's a failed attempt at something.

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  6. This is me too. I am so much better at asking. When I try listening, my mind wanders and/or I fall asleep! Gosh that's terrible. I went to the sunrise service this year too, and I enjoyed it a lot. It's good to have that reminder. Thanks for sharing :)

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    1. Hey, don't feel bad! After I spent last year reading through the Bible, my husband decided he wanted to do it this year, and he's stuck somewhere in February because he keeps falling asleep during Leviticus!

      It's hard to think of God as a friend, someone who wants to have conversations. It's easy to tell him all the things we want to happen, harder to listen to silence and expect answers from it!

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  7. this post was so poetic and lovely-- i loved the bit about "I'd really like it if I were better at the listening than the asking." i've been feeling similar lately, and i'd also like to start some kind of meditational practice - have you researched different methods?? lmk!

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  8. I have gone on Christian retreats where we were required to have extended quiet times to pray and listen. The first time was insanely difficult. I think I accidentally fell asleep. But as I made the effort to be quiet and listen on a semi-regular basis, it got so much easier. It was amazing.

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  9. Quiet time is so hard. Not just to find, but then to do, to take. I realize that I don't like the quiet... It's not comfortable or easy for me to enjoy... I've been trying to turn the radio down on my way to or from work every day just to create a solid half hour of thought and prayer and busy mindedness. And, I'm enjoying it. Though sometimes I feel so UGHHHH when it's coming up in my day! :)

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