But my mom didn't forget about it. It was supposed to be one of our first Christmases celebrating together with my family, so she and my aunt went looking for a ... replacement.
As bad luck would have it, they wandered into a gag gift shop and found several ... unsavory ideas. And bought one of them. And printed out a giant picture of Matt's face and taped it to its head.
That's right. My mother bought me a blow-up doll.
That weird dude on the right is not real. My aunt has a penchant for life-sized, people-like statues.
It was about three feet tall, and THANK GOD it was wearing little painted-on shorts. According to my mother, the box it came in described the product as "The Husband." She and my aunt thought it was HILARIOUS and paid no attention to the fact that I was dying of embarrassment in front of my grandparents, my cousin's new husband, my sister's boyfriend's parents.
They had The Husband stand next to me the entire time we opened gifts.
He was immediately deflated the second I got back home to Oklahoma. His real face was even scarier.
What's the most awkward gift you've ever received?